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“The Gunman” Review

After a few years away from the cinema, Sean Penn returns as a gun for hire that no longer has the stomach (or head for that matter) for the job in “The Gunman”.

The_Gunman_Official_Theatrical_Poster

An adaptation of Jean-Patrick Manchette’sThe Prone Gunman.” Penn stars as Jim Terrier, an international operative who is betrayed by the organization he worked for, and must go on the run in a relentless game of cat and mouse across Europe.

With a ridiculously talented cast (Sean Penn, Javier Bardem, Jasmine Trinca, Ray Winstone and Idris Elba) it’s a crying shame this movie is so bloody awful. Now my mother always said if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all…so here’s the nice:

  • There are some decent hand to hand combat and gunfights in some unusual locations, so in all fairness the action is passable.
  • Ray Winstone and Javier Bardem are incapable of having bad performances.
  • Sean Penn is JACKED!
  • Um …ya.

Sorry folks, but that’s it. It truly broke my movie loving heart that a piece of cinema with this gathering of current dramatic powerhouses could fall so short. Massive plot failures, crappy dialogue and half ass performances deflate this film faster than Penn’s arms after his next cycle. Bardem and Winstone try desperately to save multiple scenes, but playing tennis against a swollen unenthused Penn is truly exhausting to watch. Then it seems just to make us even further annoyed, Ibris Elba stops by for literally 3 minutes (probably on his way to his Bond audition) and only makes Penn’s lacking performance seem even more inferior.

The Gunman” is perhaps the largest waste of acting talent I may have ever witnessed…well at least since “Dumb & Dumberer”. Save your cash, rent “Stealth” and while you’re watching it run a cheese grader up and down your thigh…you’ll have a better time.

About Chris Biggs (32 Articles)
After loosing his hands in a smelting accident at age 12, his father (a traditional blacksmith) forged and fused two anvil hammers to his mutilated stumps. This of course lead to Chris becoming a social outcast and spending many an evening alone on his apartment rooftop crying to the stars. It was on one of these nights that a freak bolt of lightning split and struck Chris in both limbs at the same time, infusing his hammers with electric energy while giving him super strength and regenerative powers. The monkey? Have you ever tried to wipe your ass with hammers? Exactly.

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